Wrapping Up Project 1

We are finally nearing the finish line for our first semester project in Typography. Friday is our last presentation, featuring a guest critique from KCPT. Before that time, I need to finish preparing for the presentation, physically and mentally. I've never completely nailed down my campaign concept in solid words.

Here goes...

The main concept behind my campaign is that of perfection. However, it is my belief that perfection isn't truly the end result. Perfection is the process of designing, excavating through layers of ideas to come out with one, successful solution. Perfection is the viewer's interaction with an artifact and the artist's emotional relationship with it - not the formal qualities most of us break art and design down into.

At this stage in the game, I'm no longer sure where to go. I've been staring at these ideas and forms for so long, that they're beginning to muddy. I feel as though all I can do is "hope". By that I mean "hope" my work is well received and understood. "Hope" my color palette is correct and translates well into print. "Hope" my leading is appropriate and my kerning keen. 

I know Marty always tell us to have "pride" in are work. To not let us forgive ourselves for putting up work we know has flaws. But there comes a point in every project where you need to divorce yourself emotionally from a work in order to recieve criticism whole heartedly. Having respect for my work is extremely difficult for me to do, but I'm trying to figure out why. I've been doing it from the beginning of Design, and most likely my entire artistic career. I think I need to psychologically disconnect myself from what I produce or I'll let it consume me. I'm purely afraid - terrified - of losing myself. Perhaps because I know that it would be easy to be gone forever. It's sort of like an irrational fear every artist has. Most successful artists die tragically because they have simply lost themselves. 

Now I know that this is not Marty's intent when she tells us to have respect for our work. But irrational fear is where my mind always goes to. Jamie and Marty both talked to me about this when we had the one-on-two interviews last semester. I let myself get stuck in neutral. 

I was desperately trying to remedy that this semester, but I've fallen off the wagon. I'm trying to decided if it's truly my fault or not due to the increasing amount of stress I've been feeling. It's so crippling at times that it's all I can muster to get something done for homework. It's a poor excuse and I always feel guilty making them, but stress and anxiety have always been serious problems of mine. I still don't have it 100% under control and it seems to be getting worse as I get older. 

In a very, very roundabout way, this rant all ties back into the concept for my campaign. 

I've been seeking perfection in end product, which is not what my campaign is about. Perfection lies in process - the very process I tend to rush through. I'm truly arguing broad generalities about my existence, not the specifics of this project.

I'm not ready yet to have my final say on the project. We still have to present our campaigns, as I said earlier. Currently, I'm pleased with where my animation stands. I'm anxious to see what my classmates present as well as how they receive mine.

Perhaps after I take this test (History and Principles of Mathematics), they my stress cloud (more like tornado) will begin to evaporate.